The other day I had the opportunity to speak with a
student who was heading back to school as so many children are or will be soon.
This particular student, a young man, was not too keen on going back to school.
I asked him why and he just said he hated school and didn’t want to go. Knowing
this student fairly well, and even knowing a great deal about his school, I was
a little taken back by this. Here was a good kid who I thought had a great
previous school year, who was now nearly petrified of going back to school. I
couldn’t for the life of me understand why. Personally, I just wrote this off
to the unease that often accompanies a new school year. I even went as far as
to talk to his mother about the situation and she was just as baffled as I was.
As any good parents would do, this young man’s parents
encouraged him and slightly “forced” him on the bus that first day of school. Knowing
both of them well, I knew the anxiety they felt and uncertainty of how his day
would go. At the end of the day, he got off the bus, came home and appeared to
be in good spirits. When he was asked about his day, he simply replied that it
was good and that he wanted to go back the next day.
Being the inquisitive person that I am, I was curious as
to what could have happened on the first day of school that could flip his
seemingly strong feelings so quickly. Once I had a chance to sit down with him,
I asked him how his first day was. He replied that it was good as he had told
his mother. I then followed it up with the question, why? Why was school good
for him? He looked at me and said, “Pat is not there anymore.”
Now, Pat is a fictional name because I don’t want to embarrass
or put down a real student. However, he said that his day was good because this
student was no longer in his class. This again heightened my curiosity so I
asked him what he meant by that statement. He went on to explain how this
particular student would push and hit him all of last year. Now that this
student was no longer in his class, he was confident school would be “good”. This
young man was a victim of bullying. As someone who knows this student well, I
was shocked that he was apparently being picked on and nobody was aware of it. Trust
me when I say his parents had no clue. As any good teacher would do, I then
asked this young man if he told his teacher or another adult in his school. He
replied nope and then went back to coloring.
The story above is real and actually happened to me as I
described it. The students involved will remain nameless as that is not the
intent of why I share this story. We have many students in our schools and
classrooms that are harassed or mistreated in some way and will never speak up
for themselves. Instead they harbor this fear where it manifests as it did in
this young man to a point of him not wanting to go to school. Now, I know this
student as well as his teachers. They would be the first to address this type
of issue but clearly they were not aware of it.
It is this type of story that reminds me to be ever so
aware of the quiet and meek students in our classrooms…or even the loud ones
that you suspect are hiding pain. While many kids will share their life stories
with you at the drop of a hat, many will never step up and advocate for
themselves. Sadly, we have seen the pain caused by adults on children who were
incapable of speaking up for themselves. We have to see the real pain that is
also being caused by other kids. Be mindful of the victims and go out of your
way to create those relationships that allow students to feel comfortable
reaching out to you and advocating for themselves. Not all victims are obvious
and not all victims will stand up for themselves.